A Very Pointless Blog


*Warning This Blog is very Pointless. Reader discretion is advised. Read at your own risk.*

Hulla Everybody!

How are you all doing?

I am suffering from a dilemma. You see my ‘Winter Break’ is about to end in a week and I have bittersweet feelings about it. On one hand, I am extremely excited to go back and annoy my sister and then there is also (Please read the following phrase in a sarcastic tone) the joy of starting a new semester (Now *overdramatic pause*). On the other hand, I have to say my goodbyes to my parents and travel more than 18hrs.

I wouldn't have cared about the travelling part as much if it weren't for the 7.5 hours layover,

Last time I had to say my farewells, I had very different feelings.

I was mostly angry.

You see last time my parents accompanied me on the journey and somehow I was more relieved to be leaving to even feel the sorrow.

Like I mentioned literally one sentence ago, I was mostly angry.

Who was I angry at?

Why was I angry?

I was angry at a few people who I thought were very dear to me, but that is another story. Heck, I can even write a book series about that part of my life.

Point is I was happy to leave.

This time my heart felt heavy since the day I landed because I started counting down the days left till my flight back. I am only here for three weeks and it is definitely not enough for me.

Now that I literally have 7 days left, I don't know what to feel.

It is strange.... because there are so many emotions going through me that I cannot say what I am distinctly feeling.

Am I sad? Angry? Frustrated? Happy?

Makes no sense right? Yeah, I know.

My mind is all over the place.

I just want to give my parents as much time as I can in these few days.

Due to the type of person I am, (who jokes to make things or situations better) I have said the best puns and jokes I never knew in a span of three days. I just hate the thought of leaving the cozy and comfortable life I fell back into during this trip.

Is it possible to be having a mid-life crisis at the age of 18? Who knows...

I don't wanna leave. I don't want to not leave.

I mean I don't want to leave the comfort of my bed but then I also want to enjoy the rest of my stay.

If you read my last blog you pretty much by now know what my expectations are for this year. *Spoiler Alert* I am pretty pessimistic.

Apologies for not being my usual entertaining self. I am just contemplating life and procrastinating about stepping into the future.

And the knowledge that the smallest alteration in my day can change the entire course of my future isn't really helping. That thought got into my head due to a "Tumblr" post I saw about how people want to travel back to the past to change something to make the future better but we tend to forget how a slight change in our present can alter our course for the future.

*Sigh*

Again, apologies. Will be back to my normal self soon. I love you all.

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Until Next Time! Byeeeee.


#life

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©2020 by Adreana Billur