New Year, Old Me.


Hulla Everybody!

Happy New Year!!

How did you all spend your New Year's?

I hope it was fun, exciting and amazing.

Enjoy it, people..

Wow, that sounds sort of threatening. Not how I intended it.

I am just having one of those days where I over think life and mope around. Honestly, if you are in a great mood I would recommend for you to pick some other post and read it.

This blog post is extremely.... what is the word?

BLEH!

It is simply "BLEH."

You have been fairly warned. Read at your own risk.

If you are anything like me, it is only a matter of time before you realize that literally, nothing changed. I might have to rephrase that sentence, considering we do have to write the date differently. However, rest of your life is going to go be the same old way, unless you use the change of years as a mark to act differently.. (wait that doesn’t make much sense)

I believe that is where the New Year's resolution comes in. I still haven't EVER finished any of my resolutions list so far. I still have the list from 2012 and I only did one part of it which was ‘grow your hair longer’. I just didn't bother this year.

Now let us dive into a completely unrelated but related topic (I am constantly aware of how little I am making sense today). You know how you get a terrible feeling about something? Like your intuition signals are beeping and your sixth sense is tingling?

No? Well just me then I guess.

I am pessimistic about this year. I have no idea why but I just am.

Of course, I have made future plans with friends and family which ought to leave me feeling cared and loved. My pessimistic approach is towards the whole year in general. Past years either I went in feeling nothing too special or optimistic about how the year was going to be better than the last. They were true in some cases..

However, the majority of the time it was worse or just as bad. So, this time I am being optimistic about being pessimistic.

Does that make sense? Maybe? I guess not.

Well, I am already dreading my future. I feel like this is the year I learn furthermore on how crappy I am at every "skill" I possess. I am sorry guys, I am probably just being overdramatic. I leave home to go back to Canada in a few days and I am filled with mixed feelings. This year I have made no commitment to being someone different, someone better or anything.

This year, I want to embrace myself ‘true self’ and go on from there. But first I got to learn how to love myself more. I really need that.

I am just pooped. My writing is being affected by how crappy I am feeling. I feel so demotivated and if that continues I don’t really think I have much chance with this year.

Can someone just go ‘POOF’ and seize to exist? Umm.. asking for a friend. I mean, of course, I know people can’t just go poof. Right?

Any of you have any resolutions?

Also feel free to leave your thoughts or expectations from this year in the comment section below. I mean I would love to have someone to mope around with.

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Until Next Time! Byeeeee.


#life

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©2020 by Adreana Billur